Category Archives: Islam & Sex

Islam & sex education?

Islam & Sex Education?

Bismillahi Rehmani Raheem

There was need for the proper way and all important things related to this very important part of human social activities i-e Sex. So there was a need to gave proper Islamic education to this human need. In these articles every proper thing related to sex in Islamic terminology will be discussed, kindly read more informative articles from categories—>Islam & Sex

At the time of the prophet, muslims men and women were never too shy to ask the prophet about all affairs, including such private affairs as sexual life, so as to know the teachings and rulings of their religion concerning them. As Aisha, the wife of the prophet testified, “Blessed are the women of the Ansar (the citizens of Madina). Shyness did not stand in their way seeking knowledge about their religion.” (All except Termizi).

The way the ladies asked the prophet-directly or through his wives is a proof that sexual matters were not taboo but were fully acknowldged and respected. “Shyness is part of the faith” as the prophet taught, but he also taught “There is no shyness in matters of religion” even entailing the delicate aspects of sexual life.

It is our firm belief that facts about sex should be taught to children in a way commensurate with their age as they grow up both by the family and the school. We emphasize that this should be done within the total context of Islamic ideology and Islamic teaching, so that the youth-beside getting the correct physiologic knowledge become fully aware on the sanctity of the sexual relation in Islam and the grave sin of blemishing such sanctity whether under Islamic law, or far more important in the sight of God. Provided the Islamic conscience is developed we see no reason to shun sex education (unfortunately the rule in many muslim countries), and we believe it is better to give the correct teaching rather than leave this to chance and to incorrect sources and to the concomitant feeling of guilt by the hush-hush atmosphere in which this is done.

Teaching about sex should also have its presence in the curricula of medical schools. We have done this in our medical school as part of the gynaecology and obstetrics program. We had no difficulty whatsoever with our religious and rather conservative men and women students, for the subject is given within an Islamic perspective.

Sex is an important area of marital life, and when people are in trouble they have only the doctor to resort to: and unless the doctor has had some basic teaching of sex, he or she will be quite helpless to help out. Sexual problems may manifest as strained family relations, psychosomatic symptoms or infertility. Medical treatment may affect sex such as some antihypertensive or antidepressant drugs. Sexual counsel is often a neglected aspect of managing such varied diseases as coronary thrombosis, diabetes, incipient heart failure etc. The role of lack of sexual education in some cases of infertility is well known. Surgery may influence sex in men and women. A carelessly repaired episiotomy, or colporrhaphy may have a devastating effect on marital happinnes. The psychological premath and after-math of the operation of hysterectomy is only too well known. On top of all of this, muslim women patients would wish to know the religious ruling on the multitude of gynaecological and obstetric situations relating to worship, and their reference is their doctor. It is therefore a religious, dictate that medical education preparing doctors who will cater for the needs of muslim communities, should equip them with the knowledge necessary to answer this need.

Everywhere in this society specially in west, sex, and sexuality are openly displayed for all to see. In this climate of free sex and loose moral standards, it becomes imperative for Muslim parents to be proactive in the sexual education of their children. Now, although for many of us, the thought of telling our children the whys, hows, and wheres of the proper sexual behavior between a man and woman, might make us cringe, when we think of the alternative, we’ll see that we have no choice. Sexual education is a phrase that is taboo for many Muslims.

Part of the reason for this misunderstanding, is that people who encourage fornication and sexual deviations, are often the ones who teach sexual education in this society.

How can a Muslim parent then not worry when schools and mass media portray fornication as sexual freedom, and homosexuality as an acceptable ‘sexual orientation’? But does this mean that Muslim parents and educators should choose that their children have no sexual education at all? The answer is no! Children will always receive some kind of sexual education, and even if you isolate them, they will still get it from other children! The correct attitude should be to give our children the right sexual education, one that is derived from the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

It is therefore the obligation of every parent to be prepared to carry out this task, and to be able to do so in the best manner. This article will, inshaAllah, present some guidance that may make the chore less stressful for all parties involved

Different Stages of Sexual Education:

As a child goes through different developmental stages, his sexual education should too be planned in stages, and each lesson should be appropriate to the age of the child. Although children’s maturity vary greatly at any given age, there are four main stages that most children go through:

7-10 Years: the Age of Discernment

At this age, the child should know the etiquette of entering the parents’ room, and the rules concerning looking at others.

10-14 Years: Adolescensce

At this age, the child should learn how to avoid sexual arousal, and should be protected from it.

14-16 Years: Puberty

When the child should know the etiquette of sexual intercourse, if he or she is ready to get married in the near future.

16 and Above: Young Adults

The unmarried young men and women should learn sexual abstinence, and the dangers of adultery and fornication (zina).


In most homes, young children move about quite freely, and often take for granted that they can enter wherever they want. However, there are limitations for older children, who at certain times should ask their parents’ permission before entering their bedroom.

Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, says, “O you who believe! Let your slaves and the children among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence), on three occasions: before morning prayer (salatul Fajr), and when you put off your clothes for the noon rest, and after the late-night prayer (salatul Isha). These three times are of privacy for you, outside these times, there is no sin on you or on them to move about, attending to each other. Thus Allah makes clear the Signs to you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.” [24:58]

It is then preferable that when the child is old enough to discern between right and wrong, and easily understands and follows directions (usually around age seven), that he should ask permission before entering. This is especially emphasized at the times when the parents are usually undressed, i.e., from the time after Isha prayer to the Fajr prayer, and during an afternoon nap. There is no doubt that this teaches the children to be decent, and aids to protect them from unintentionally stumbling upon scenes that may prove shocking to them. When the child reaches puberty, he should be taught to ask permission before entering at all times, as Allah says,

“And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them also ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age). Thus Allah makes clear His Signs for you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.” [24:59] By teaching and reinforcing these lessons over time, decency and modesty can gradually be integrated into the child’s character.

Continue to other articles for more information